mumblings of a humble servant

So no, I don’t have another confession.  I just realized it’s been a while since I wrote that blog and I should fill you in the progress I’m making on this journey to crave God more than food.

Well…its safe to say it hasn’t been any easy road so far.  Its been filled with doubt, frustration, feeling like its not fair, annoyed, hungry, anxiousness, feeling lonely and well, you get the picture.  But its also been equally filled with feeling strong, victory, determination, power that comes from Christ, being full, feeling satisfied and comforted by God, not food.

Its a daily struggle.  An hourly struggle.  A by-the-minute struggle.  A moment by moment struggle.  Sometimes I’m really strong and feel empowered by eating what I can have and not wanting what I shouldn’t have.  But other moments I’m feeling so weak and wishing I could just indulge in something crazy yummy until I throw up! lol.

This journey has been eye opening.  I have a lot of personal things going on right now and I’m SOOOOO grateful to have started this journey and commitment BEFORE a rough season hit.  I can easily say I would have given up.  I would have turned back to unhealthy choices to comfort me, make me feel better and in control.  But now I feel so strengthened knowing that I don’t need those things to comfort me and I’ve learned the lie that, in fact, they wouldn’t comfort me but make me feel WORSE in the long run.

I’m excited to say that its been about about 6 weeks since I’ve had anything labeled “sweet.”  If you know me you know this is a BIG deal!  honestly I didn’t think I could EVER go that long without it.  I would eat sweets without even thinking.  I almost always regretted eating sweet things later, mostly because I knew what it was doing to my body.  I feel so strong in that area.  Granted, I still am tempted to lick the bowl when making brownies for a church potluck and I certainly still want a candy bar when I’m in line at the grocery store, but those things don’t have a hold on me the way they did.  I know I can eat one if I want: its not a sin.  But the question I have to ask myself is “is this beneficial to my body?”  Right now, the thought of drinking a milkshake makes my stomach hurt…as I know it would make it hurt if I did it.  That is God-victory ladies.

I’ve been doing pretty well with what I eat lately too.  I’m still learning what things are healthy and what things are KINDA healthy and what things just plain aren’t.  I was almost ashamed to say that I didn’t know that all breads but wheat and multi-grains turn to sugar in your body!  no wonder I started eating more of it when I cut out sweets!  I know I still have a ways to go in this area but I’m so thankful to my accountability partner as she knows LOTS of healthy things and gave me a book to read (I haven’t started it yet though):

WOW!  I want abs like that!  Anyway, this book seems really empowering and like it could be a great companion to Made to Crave.

I do want to say something about accountability.  This has made ALL the difference in the world.  I would have quit a LONG time ago, like day 3 if I didn’t have this woman of God meeting with me faithfully, calling me out on my sins, praying with me, encouraging me, and loving me.  Ladies, this will literally make or break your success in my opinion.  I know some of you who have been strong enough to do this on your own but for a lot of us it takes having someone to push you when you want to give up.  And I’m eternally grateful for this committed sister.

So recently we also started a “mock” study of the book Made to Crave.  It is a 6 week DVD/Workbook study with 7 ladies from church.  We hoped to go through it to see how it would fare as a Sunday morning class and man I’m excited about this!  The workbook has you doing short lessons everyday and that is so great because lets face it: this is an everyday battle!  I can’t wait to see this transform our church in the fall!  Be praying about if this would be something for you.

I also took my first Zumba class!!!  Yeah this is what I look like doing it:

only less colorful :}

I absolutely LOVE this class!  I have been meaning to try it at our gym but just haven’t been able to.  The other morning I was almost done working out when I heard upbeat music and lots of screaming coming from the big room.  It was the Zumba class and I thought “they are messing up and having a blast!  I gotta try this class!”  So I looked up when the next one was and went!  Its 60 minutes long and I just discovered our gym offers it 5 times a week!  I can only make it to 3 but that would put me up to where I’d like to be working out wise.  And its such a good workout.  I can’t believe I haven’t tried it sooner.  Duh!  I love to dance so why wouldn’t I do this???  Anyway, I look forward to learning sweet new dance moves as well as burning off major calories and getting stronger.

Okay the question I’m sure is on everyone’s mind: have you lost any weight?  While this isn’t about losing weight, in theory it should naturally happen if I’m eating better and working out.  I have been making it a point to weigh myself occasionally at the gym but reminding myself that the scale doesn’t reflect my effort.  You can do everything right in this journey and not necessarily lose weight.  I just know I FEEL better than I have in a long time.  So…I didn’t weigh myself at the beginning, as you know.  But last time I weighed myself (2 weeks ago) I had lost 3 pounds.  Its a slow fade (that should be a song:)) and I’m thankful that it won’t disappoint me if its not happening fast.  And actually, if it happened fast I’m not sure I’d end up keeping it off.  Because I have to work hard at this and its a lifestyle change I hope that it will be a lasting change.  So yeah, I will probably weigh myself tonight (ZUMBA CLASS!!!!) just to see if anything has changed.  But again, i’m trying to make it a point to let my clothes determine how I’m doing, and how I feel physically: and thats great!

Oh yeah, and I successfully made it through several potlucks, catered events, birthday parties and celebrations without giving it to temptations!  This is a testimony of God strength for sure!!!

Well I think I’ve rambled on enough.  I’m sorry if this doesn’t all make sense.  I kind of wrote it off the cuff.  I also pray it encourages you to continue seeking God more than food.  I know you are strong women in the Lord who can do anything with Christ!  Let me know what you think!!!